Smokin' cigarettes and watchin' Captain Kangaroo

T()\/\/=R

Speeding through the countryside at dusk in my Dad's old hot rod,  my Sister and i rumbled along with the windows down catching a breeze as the glorious V8 motor roared and the exhaust echoed off of the hills and trees we blasted by.

Our father was here in spirit,  but his message was clear;  he'd sent us to find and old friend of his for reasons we weren't exactly sure.

Up ahead there's a property nestled into the rolling hills,  a small home with a few out buildings and an old camper.  We reigned in the beast and pulled up the old gravel driveway cautiously as it was ridden with bumps and ruts where the recent rainwater channeled down to the road.  Avoiding the red clay mixed with grass we navigated our way to the front door and knocked to see if anyone was home. 

Eventually the door opens and a woman appears,  she had long dark hair,  probably late 30s in age.  As we introduced ourselves to her she said next to  nothing but opened the door and let us into her home.  We sat on and old couch in a dimly lit living room which was somewhat of a clutter,  the television set in the corner was on but the volume was muted.  On the wall there was bookcases full of books and other family mementos,  above it pictures on the wall.

My Sister asked her about the man we were sent to find - we believed this house belonged to him.  Her vacant expression was rather telling,  however she would only say that he "wasn't here".  When we asked her if she knew where he'd went off to,  her only reply was "i dunno....he's gone"

While my Sister continued to try and get information from her,  i got up and went over to the pictures on the wall.  The family photos revealed the man we were after as well as the younger woman who had let us into the house.  It would appear she was his child,  also the man in question wore military uniforms in most of the pictures,  and he never seemed to smile.  In the bookcase there were some medals and ribbons on display,  from military service,  also a pair of aviators wings. 

I felt as if we were making the poor woman uncomfortable in her own home as i heard a voice gently whisper something.  My Sister must have heard it as well as she stood up and thanked the woman for letting us in to speak with her and we both excused ourselves back outside.

The moon was rising to the east in a hazy shade of yellowish orange as we went out to the old hot rod and fired up the big V8.  We took off down the deserted country road towards the moon when we remembered there was a deserted military base 30 miles away....



The Lighthouse overlooking the lake was always a wonder to me growing up.  It had been there since statehood and maintained by the same family for generations.  It was actually more of an observation tower than a lighthouse - however people would on occasion mistake it for a lighthouse given it was high on a hill surrounded by water and there was on occasion a light at the top.  My Father once said if you ever out on the lake and found yourself lost,  just look for the lighthouse and use it as a compass to find your way back.  He was right though,  the lighthouse was the center of the universe of this expansive lake,  and all things seemed to eventually lead you towards it.

One time as kids we went to the large hill to try and reach the top and visit the lighthouse.  Some of my friends were distracted by other things along the way (probably girls camping out) but i was drawn to it like a magnet.  I made it to the base of the tower where i found an old man sitting outside cleaning a hunting rifle.  I talked to this man for a while - he was at that time the caretaker of the lighthouse - and in conversation he revealed to me things he had seen at night after most of the campers at the lake had gone to sleep.  He spoke of a strange phenomenon in the night skies over the lake.  When i asked him what the strange phenomenon was,  he shrugged it off,  "nobody knows....been going on for years around these parts"



Speeding down the dark country road my Sister and I began to notice a faint glow on the horizon in the distance.  We were literally nowhere and it had been miles since we had passed any house or other signs of civilization.  The trees formed a canopy over the road as it cut curves through the land.  Just ahead there was a road leading off to the right side where just over the treetops we noticed what looked like aircraft sitting out on display.  We turned up the road and the gate was surprisingly open,  up ahead four aircraft from probably the early to mid 1900s sitting in a park on display.  Next to them was a massive building with a few cars parked outside,  and behind the large building there were the glowing lights in the distance. 

Out of curiosity we decided to park the car out in front and walk around.  We encountered a man walking in front of the building,  he was dressed in military uniform,  complete with his weapon and wearing a helmet and all of his gear.  He paused briefly to look at us and we froze thinking we might be in trouble for trespassing or some other violation.  The man said nothing and his face was expressionless,  and then he went on his way. 

We walked for what seemed like a mile just to get around the monstrous building where we came upon a giant yard surrounded by a 12 foot tall fence.  It was very well lit with lots of activity.  Inside of this yard there were people - lots of them - milling around and doing seeming mundane tasks.  These people were wearing light colored clothing and while they looked human in appearance they moved about unlike humans normally do.  There were military men inside of the fenced area who were heavily armed that seemed to be watching these people moving around.

Carefully moving closer to the fence we began to see dark objects in the area.  These objects looked to be aircraft of some kind - however they looked nothing like anything we'd ever seen before.  Also we noticed that the people milling about all looked strangely identical with the same facial features and expressions. 

It was probably this time that we both realized we should probably not be here.  We turned to go back to the car when a bright light suddenly appeared over our heads.  It was brighter and more intense than anything we had ever seen before.  Blinded,  we froze and tried to cover our eyes to shield the light,  but it still somehow blinded us.  And then just as quickly as it had appeared....nothing....absolute darkness and silence. 



*X*

Peace in the Valley

A curvy road cuts through the hillside along the tree lined ridge where an upscale housing development is taking shape.  The scene is quite majestic as the builder left enough trees for shade and privacy without completely ravaging the land for the sake of greed.  The homes are large and extravagant in this gated community which has been taking shape for better than two decades.  The final phase is in the planning stages only as the current landowner is having second thoughts on selling the remaining section of family land. 

The sun is breaking through the clouds just enough that work may resume on new construction as water runoff from the recent rains is still present,  and red clay paints the fresh concrete where the heavy rains washed through.  The neighborhood features lakes which are at capacity from the rains,  and the miles of farm land in the valley across from the development is partially flooded.

Atop the ridge amidst new home construction a large white four door truck sits while a native man in a cowboy hat and turquoise necklace and matching rings waits patiently as he scans the skies above with some uncertainty.  The workers hammer away at the frame as he watches what was once family land turn into massive new homes for strangers.

The wind swirled around as overhead clouds seemed to track various directions depending on their altitude.  The native man felt a hint of instability in the air he hadn't sensed before as the sun began to peak out of the clouds even more.  A large black SUV followed by another black truck appeared through the trees and crept up the road towards him.  As the vehicles came to a stop, he got out of the truck and greeted the well dressed city mayor in the SUV,  followed by the land developer,  and in the truck the primary development builder. 

The Mayor was a tall thin man,  also of Native descent,  he was a former land developer himself,  having worked on this very housing project prior to becoming the town mayor.  The current Developer was a large and robust man with a bronze tan and bleached hair,  his bulbous appearance could at times be a bit intimidating to others,  and was often understandably mistaken for an old time televangelist from the 1980s.  The Builder was a typical middle aged man with dress jeans and tucked in shirt,  fancy boots and belt,  and that disconnected thousand yard stare. 

He knew they would try and strong arm him into selling the last 100 acres of his family's land - which he had once verbally agreed to,  but never signed any of the legal documents as he had on the current developed land.  After the men exchanged pleasantries it was time to get down to business.  The Mayor expressed hope that all parties could reach a mutual agreement on the remaining land,  in which of course the native man was suspicious of his motives.  The developer hinted at a pretty substantial monetary figure,  which surprised the native man,  meanwhile the builder said nothing and scowled.

He stared at the ground for a few moments before breaking the silence, "the land is not for sale,  gentlemen.  It is all i have left of my family heritage and i intend to keep it,  and pass it on to future generations." 

The Developer looked thoughtful for a few moments and then offered a stunning new figure,  while adding "What if we put in a special memorial for your family and a park as part of the deal?" 

He shook his head and replied "no,  my people are buried in that land,  from where your people once hung them from the trees.  No memorial will ever take the place of what we have lost.  No deal."

"I told you this was a waste of fucking time" the builder mumbled under his breath as he spat on the ground and turned back towards his truck.

"Gentlemen...settle down....i just need us to come together for the good of the people and for this community.  What we need here is peace in the valley...." the Mayor chimed in,  trying to de-escalate the situation. 

The Native man looked up at the sky again and this time his eyes were wide open,  he noticed something quite disturbing in the atmosphere as clouds from the north seemed to be feeding a larger cloud building in the southwest over the valley. 

The Developer wasn't as amicable as the Mayor and spoke directly to the Native man,  telling him he would get that last section of land one way or another,  and the native man wouldn't be able to stop him.  He pointed directly at him while sneering "You may have the land but WE hold all of the cards!"

Still looking towards the southwestern sky,  the Native man seemed to ignore the Developer,  and turned hurriedly toward his truck and got back into the vehicle and started off,  but not before stopping in front of the men long enough to leave them with this bit of advice;  "if you truly want peace in the valley clear all of your people out of here now", and then he sped off in the truck.

The Mayor,  Developer,  and Builder all looked at each other with some confusion.  The Builder reckoned that Native Man was "going back to the reservations to get reinforcements" which amused the Developer.  The Mayor however seemed quite disturbed by how things had played out.  Also he seemed to sense something wasn't quite right as the air had become stale and the pressure made his ears pop. 

He gazed down into the valley below the ridge in which they were standing,  over the rooftops jutting out of the trees,  there was a beast developing right before his very eyes,  out in the sky above the farmland.  The head of the beast was dark and nasty,  stretching for miles and miles up into oblivion.  The belly of the beast seemed to hover and rotate just above the horizon,  churning and grinding the earth below as it marked a path north and east,  or directly towards the beautiful housing development where the men were currently standing atop the ridgeline. 

The Mayor stood silent,  his mouth gaping open in disbelief.  The Developer and the Builder were engaged in discussion strategy with their backs turned to the ominous scene unfolding down in the valley below.  The Mayor could only just watch - there was nowhere to run and take shelter - barely time for redemption as the wind suddenly picked up from the south.  At the moment he embraced his fate he seemed to appreciate the irony of his demise taking place at the hands of his own ambition in the very masterpiece he spent his life creating. 

The pale horse had spoken - and tried to warn them - but they chose not to listen.

 

who did it better- Elvis or Cash?

one from the vaults.....

__for those who love the smell of fear__

Sitting at the train tracks in my old beater watching the morning sunrise, like i may have done the day before or the day after. The sun looks bigger at first light, the clouds scatter from the emerging colors which announce the urgency of a new day.

I sit in my old beater, windows cracked to let any smoke or residue out and some welcome fresh air in the cabin. The red lights were no longer blinking at the train tracks. A horn from an impatient motorist catches my attention, along with the low fuel light on my instrument cluster. How long had i been sitting here?

Slowly i ease over the tracks unsure of my destination, just go towards the sun, i think to myself. An address was written on the pizza box in the passenger seat of my car. Perhaps that is where i should go. This sleepy little town knows the weekend better than me. I own nothing therefore i owe nothing. A flock of geese fly overhead into the bright and shiny oblivion as i turn onto my pre-determined street.

Down towards the end of the street i see a large white home in various states of decay. It's a two story affair, probably built in the era when men were men and boys will be boys. In the driveway of the house i see an old nova sitting there on blocks. In front of it is some type of sedan that is a make i don't even recognize. Parked in the front yard (i mean, why the hell not?) is a primer colored truck with black painted wagon style wheels, a roll bar, and an empty gun-rack in the back window.

As i stop in front of the old house i decide to leave my car running in case it doesn't want to start again after i deliver the pizza. I stroll up sidewalk with the pizza in my hand and up the steps to the porch of this old beast of a home. Once on the porch i hear a soft beat coming from inside the house, unrecognizable to my ears, probably because i have cobwebs in my head, or something. I ring the doorbell and take stock of the surroundings on the porch as i wait for my customer to answer. It seems like forever as the beats get louder, i try to spit over the edge of the porch but my mouth is so dry you could ride a camel through it. In fact, i may have pyramids in my eyes, or maybe it really is just that dry.

I ring the doorbell again as i look around the clutter on the front porch of this place someone might call a home. Empty beer cans, trash, cheap plastic chairs, burnt out cigarette butts, a few odd piles of clothes, and probably some other things i don't want to know what they are. Since nobody has answered the door i decide to knock on the door, one solid knock and the old wooden door, with paint peeling off of it as expected, one solid knock and the door opens.

I peer inside the dark and smoky house, everything inside of me is warning me to turn around and get out of this place. But i may have floated up here to this porch anyways, so the curious inside of me pushes me over the threshold. Like a cloud over the valley not afraid of it's new deep shadow, i push onward into the darkness. The beat becomes louder and the smell isn't intoxicating as i would have hoped. It's fucking vile. Like a dead man walking i press on into the trashed out home.

I have heard these sounds before and i have smelled these obscene odors before. I just don't remember where...though i think i may have just stepped on something alive...because it moved underneath me.

At the end of the room i am currently in i see a light flicker a bit and then come on. It looks like it might be a kitchen or maybe a dining room. I call out "Hello...Pizza delivery" to nobody in particular. One foot in front of the other i cautiously head towards the hazy light. I can't decide if these people are hoarders, drug dealers, serial killers, or if i am still sitting in my car hallucinating back at the train tracks.

Life was simple when the cheese melted and the little round sausages floated above the sea of red floating on a foundation of grains. Not just simple but outrageously terrific.

A shadow passes in the light ahead. Around the corner i hear something other than the repetitive beats. It is entirely possible that someone or something is waiting around this corner, ready to kill me. I don't even care at this point, i just need to make this last delivery and then i can go home.

I remember the train but i never saw the caboose. I remember riding a bicycle with training wheels when i was a kid, then i got older and the wheels came off, as they often do, and those places we wanted to go were much farther away. I'm not afraid of anything anymore, but that does not explain why the pizza box im carrying is shaking so hard. Must be withdrawls......

I hear some kitchen noises coming from the kitchen, perhaps its glasses and silverware coming out of the cabinets in preparation of the meal i am to bring?
Finally into the light i step to create a shadow. There better be one hell of a tip involved in this, i think to myself.

In the kitchen i see them, standing naked in a circle, there must be six of them, maybe seven, holding hands, men and women, though mostly men. They are all naked, save for gas masks over their heads. They were standing in a circle until they see me enter their space. Then they all turn to face me, one by one, all of them looking at me through military spec goggles which orbit the apparatus on the face and head. I can hear them breath in and breath out through filters and vents. I can't see their eyes but i know they are looking at me.

One of them, perhaps the leader, has a worn out straw cowboy hat on top of his head. He walks a few steps ahead of the pack, and then stops. He speaks very direct and asks me what i am doing here. I must admit, at this point i am afraid. There is a kitchen table next to me that is covered in garbage, beer cans, drugs, and newspapers.

"You...um...your pizza...large meat with extra....ill just leave it right here.....extra cheese!" That's all i could say.

The leader takes another step forward and then pauses for a moment, cocks his head to one side like a confused puppy, and then looks back to his companions. He then turns back towards me and states evenly, albeit his voice modified through filters and chambers, "we ordered that pizza yesterday"

I notice the tattoos on his arm and the veins sticking out near his elbows and wrists. This is not a guy i want to argue with at this moment. I sit the pizza down on the table and take a step backwards. It's on the house..yeah...it has to be at this point. I think i have heard this music before. In fact i think this place is starting to look familiar, perhaps i have been here before?

No need to tip me, i think to myself. I waged war and had to go through hell on earth to get to this place, but no, im okay, just get me out of here. I take a nice long look at the naked people in front of me. Their gas masks on their heads, boy and girl parts down below in all of their glory, and i turn and bolt towards the door.

I escape the smoky den out onto the front porch and i am shocked to see the moon is up next to the sun and the day seems to have faded since in was last outside. I make it to my old beater car and realize my keys are in the ignition and the door is locked. The car is no longer running, presumably because it has ran out of gas.

I reach into my pockets desperately searching for something, money, no i don't really want that. Pills, no i don't need those right now. Mary Jane...no....not yet. I find my old phone and i see the red light blinking at me with exclamation diodes. My eyes are red enough anyway, so i push a few buttons to see who has been trying to reach me. Several texts, emails, etc. One from my boss screams out to me "WHERE ARE YOU?" I start to reply back when i see this is not the latest message from him. Flipping through several more messages i see the final one from him which says, quite simply, "YOU ARE FIRED!"

Damn, i think, there went my whole entire life down the tubes right there. In a moment of parts rage and parts relief, i kick the side of my beater until a smile forms on my stony face. Then a bigger smile forms across my universe as i let out a mad scream and do my best karate-kid impersonation, somehow managing to kick the still lit pizza delivery sign off of the top of the car. It flies off of the roof of the car and lands on the street, cracked and no longer lit.

As i look back towards the old house, i see one of the naked females standing in the doorway, watching me from behind her gas mask. I can feel her soul beckoning me though i can't really feel much else. Freedom must be a lot like getting naked in a house full of people with gas masks on their heads, which is the only logical conclusion i could draw from this.

Under the sunlight and moonlight, apparently both sharing the same faded space, i turn and go back towards the old beat up house. I do the honorable thing and strip off all of my clothes and leave them in a pile on the porch. The girl in the doorway has a spare gas mask in her hands and she extends it towards me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

pleasure and fear
trail the fallen stars
walking fire and cosmic rings
dirty old haunts
same symphonic bars

it's happy Christmas
peace to all, goodwill, goodnight
but the stars are still burning
energy is still the fight

Freedom is ridiculous
no wings
circles spinning
not a ghost in this space

only blood
dripping from above and below
forming puddles
where legends used to roam

The Serpent and the Redeemer

3am and all is quiet as the house sleeps peacefully in the cool breezy night.  I am deep in-between glorious journeys and fantasies when im awaken by a crack on the rooftop,  followed by another.  I tell myself its probably just the wind,  likely a fallen tree limb,  and make my way back into those fantastic journeys.  But my cat sleeping next to me seems to have other ideas.  He's a huge fan of sleep as well so when he stands on my chest - all 17 pounds of fur - and gently smacks me in the face with his giant kitty paw,  i realize he is trying to tell me something.  This isn't normal feeding time for anyone and this kid has reserves to spare,  so i crawl out of bed to see what he is excited about.

Out back the security light shows dancing shadows from the trees blowing in the breeze,  most of them still adorned with leaves as fall has barely begun.  Out front it's a similar story,  with the wind out of the south west,  i can see a few leaves swirling around the driveway and up the sidewalk to the porch.  But then something in front of the large oak tree directly out of my office window catches my dreary eyes.  Something tall and unusual staring back at me?  Or too close proximity causes blindness,  perhaps.  The cat jumps up into the windowsill and hisses....whatever it was moved again....this time away from the tree and just barely into the light.

Whatever this thing is - apparently a monster - i would estimate 7 feet tall,  thin,  dark,  and large wings on its back.  It turns to face the house again as i peer out of the office window merely a few feet away.  It's eyes glowing from its humanoid face,  ashen in color,  the eyes a deep sizzling red.  I about fall over my office chair which is just behind me as i step back in fright.  Another creature,  humanoid in appearance like this one,  appears from out of the darkness just beyond the garage,  i can barely make out the shape of this ashen creature,  but the glowing red eyes are growing ever closer. 


Sunrise in my face i awaken in my office chair,  abrupt and in a state of confusion and dismay.  I stand upright to look out in the front yard at the big oak tree outside of my office window.  The tree is calm and beautiful in the morning splendor of first light.  No sign of anything ominous aside from a random black SUV that is parked outside my house,  lights on.

Doorbell rings about this time and i go to the door to find a familiar looking lad with dark wavy hair and piercing eyes,  he is dressed professionally and quite the picture of youth and good health or fitness.  He announces he is here to take me to a meeting with 'the Generals'.

As we depart the house i see in my next door neighbors front yard a life sized mannequin holding a knife in her bloody hands,  she is completely naked and distraught in appearance,  with various cuts on her abdomen and more blood.  Next to her,  a couple of mannequins are kneeling over a baby mannequin laid out on some straw in the front yard.  These mannequins appear to be caring for the infant.  About this time my next door neighbor comes outside of his house,  wearing the traditional combat pants,  vest with no undershirt,  a gas mask on his side,  a Boonie hat on his head,  and he is drinking from a flask while smoking a cigar.  He sits his shotgun down and waves toward the SUV,  which i am sitting in the back seat.  My youthful driver slows long enough for me to roll down the window as the neighbor approaches.  He is drinking from the flask as he stumbles towards us in his typical awkward gait.  He points excitedly back towards the mannequin baby laying on straw with a smile beaming ear to ear "its a BOY" he exclaims,  between puffs of cigar and nips from his decanter.


As we arrive downtown the large black SUV finds the most deserted building and pulls into the underbelly of the beast,  past the waving guards and into what seems like oblivion.  A dark parking garage below leads to dimly lit elevators which takes us to an infinite floor that has no number.  I observe this young man,  the chauffer,  he reminds me of someone good and wholesome,  he is also understandably quiet for this occasion.  I can see now that his eyes are turquoise,  like where a rainbow ends and the sky meets the sea.  And just like that,  the elevator abruptly stops,  doors open to a very large room that seems to go on forever. 

In the middle of the room there is a table and some chairs.  Two military officers are seated in the middle of the table,  one of the gestures me to approach and sit down at an empty chair across from them.  As i walk towards the table it is apparent there is a third man sitting at the end of the long table,  somewhat obscured by the lack of natural light in this expansive room.  The two officers introduce themselves as General officers in the military.  They then turn to the large man at the end of the table,  and seem to make a point out of not introducing him. 

I take a seat at the table,  aware that my chauffer is standing at the back of the vast space by the elevator.  The two General officers take their seats once i have sat down.  The man at the end of the table has remained seated the entire time.  He is apparently a large man,  dressed in black,  including a black hat and oddly enough dark glasses on his contrasting pale face.  Under his hat you can see very pale colored hair - he almost looks albino.  His face is expressionless however i can feel his piercing gaze through those dark glasses.

The Generals begin by asking me seemingly evasive questions about myself to which they obviously already know the answers.  As this goes on,  the questioning seems to come from one of the officers,  while the other remains mostly silent and takes notes on his prepared papers.  Finally getting into the meat of the discussion,  the General suggests that i have been exposed to "certain elements of the occult",  or "matters dealing with the supernatural that makes me unique and somewhat attractive to their efforts".

"Efforts....what Efforts?"  I interrupt.  The two officers pause and look at each other for a moment,  as the mysterious man at the end of the table lets out an uncharacteristic noise that is something between a cough or perhaps a chuckle under his breath.  At this point all three of us briefly glance over at the man as he sits at the end of the table,  expressionless. 

"Let us just say,  there is a supernatural war,  a spiritual war going on"  the General continues,  "based on our observations and your own admissions,  you have been exposed to some of this.  And we believe you could be an asset to us,  our side,  in this fight".

Well shit,  i think to myself.  What the....i honestly don't know what to think.  I look around the room - which there isn't much to see in this cavernous pit of a room - and then back to the table with the two officers staring at me.  And then the guy at the end of the table whose face seems to have formed a bit of a smirk at this point.  I point directly towards him,  and look the Generals in the eyes "Who the Fuck is this guy supposed to be?"

Before the Generals could answer,  the mysterious man at the end of the table clears his throat with a thunderous roar akin to a stomach rumbling in the bowels of hell.  He then proceeds to ask me directly,  his pale hands folded together on the unremarkably cold table,  "So tell me,  what is it that frightens you the most in this world,  or beyond"  he croaks out in a voice that directly penetrates my senses and makes me squirm in the chair while my heart skips a beat. 

I try to sit up straight in my chair and take a deep breath,  exhale,  as thoughts swirl around in my mind.  Cobwebs from the night before are the intersection of indifference and enlightenment - both echoing equal space in the chambers and frames of thought.  I look at the Generals and back towards the mysterious pale man cloaked in darkness. 

"Angels and Demons,  i believe they walk among us,  and i have delt with them,  been intimate with them,  even.  What frightens me is the difference between them can be so vast and yet at the same time so miniscule,  in fact it can often be impossible to distinguish between an Angel or a Demon,  based on ones desire. Imagine you wake up one day and realize that you've spent your life following the wrong Angel..."

I can feel the cool wave of relief having gotten this off of my chest as i witness the Generals exchanging somewhat approving glances with each other.  However that cool wave turns into a bit of a chill as i notice the demeanor of the pale man cloaked in darkness - his smile revealing violent teeth,  flesh and bone - and beyond those dark glasses of his i can see a deepening red glow,  like a painting or a warning,  the glow of eyes without a soul...