"Whatever became of your lambs, Clarice" an elderly Bono addressed a crowd of tens of fans and media personalities holding an Easter vigil outside of the fortress of the Irish superstar. The adoring fans have been camped outside of the fortress for days to hear the prophet Bono's Easter remarks (National Transgender Day of Visibility - USA).
Rumor has it that Bono is just the latest in a long line of Hollywood elites and international celebrities who have recently awaken from a sinister Thugee death cult. Bono was said to have been under the spell of the Thugee death cult since the late 1990's, however some have suggested he might have been involved much earlier.
"FEED THEM TO THE PIGS - ALL OF THEM!" Bono exclaimed from his 3rd story balcony window while holding up his trademark peace sign. The bespectacled pop star then turned to his aides and demanded they clear his schedule, while putting on a bowling hat, and added "I'm having an old friend for dinner"
He slipped out behind the gardens of his mansion and through the back gate of the fortress and proceeded to walk the streets of Dublin, wearing a scarlet wig and a tropical leisure suit, completely unnoticed amongst the common folks, as the credits rolled on his lengthy career as world renowned popstar and media mogul.