Take U2 to Court

  • 19 Replies
  • 961 Views
*

Zeropartii

  • Status: Experienced Mofo
  • *****
  • 6677
  • Living Rent-Free in Your Head
Take U2 to Court
« on: December 13, 2017, 08:45:34 PM »
As a fan U2 has had those moments that really pissed you off.  Now it's time to take your grievance before a judge. 

On the docket:

Zero vs U2

Charge: Shortening soaring guitar solos for radio edits during the period 2001-2009

Evidence: Walk On, Magnificent.   

Verdict - GUILTY of Voluntary Songslaughter

Songs still exist in album form but U2 is too cowardly to stand up to radio station limitations and neutered the parts of the song casual fans come to expect from U2






Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

*

Codeguy

  • *
  • 10800
  • In the shadows
Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2017, 08:49:43 PM »
As a fan U2 has had those moments that really pissed you off.  Now it's time to take your grievance before a judge. 

On the docket:

Zero vs U2

Charge: Shortening soaring guitar solos for radio edits during the period 2001-2009

Evidence: Walk On, Magnificent.   

Verdict - GUILTY of Voluntary Songslaughter

Songs still exist in album form but U2 is too cowardly to stand up to radio station limitations and neutered the parts of the song casual fans come to expect from U2






Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oh what a great idea! Of course, you can't be plaintiff AND jury so let's talk about how to format this so that we can have U2 court on our forum! I have a few cases I'd like to bring 😎
-------

8645110320

*

Zeropartii

  • Status: Experienced Mofo
  • *****
  • 6677
  • Living Rent-Free in Your Head
Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2017, 08:56:27 PM »
Of course.  I'm just giving an idea of a format. 


-Rushing the mastering of POP
-SOI giveaway

Big ones there




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

*

Codeguy

  • *
  • 10800
  • In the shadows
Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2017, 09:00:12 PM »
Of course.  I'm just giving an idea of a format. 


-Rushing the mastering of POP
-SOI giveaway

Big ones there




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Ok, so how about this: OP presents case and evidence, defines defendant (may not always be U2). First five commenters are jury. Once we have five jurors, OP moves case to presentation phase, where jurors can ask questions, other members can chime in with evidence, try to influence the jury, and the jury decides by majority rule.....

Justice could be swift and punishment severe.

All in the spirit of good fun
-------

8645110320

*

guest87

Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2017, 09:06:16 PM »
What about defence counsel?  I only provide my services Pro bono.



*

The Edges Cat

  • Status: Experienced Mofo
  • *****
  • 4545
Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2017, 09:09:07 PM »
I find the accused not guilty in giving SoI away.

I still haven't paid for it. ;)

However, on the charge of the most awful lyrics ever created, the jury finds U2 guilty to the first degree for "mole digging in a hole." Life, with no parole.

The Edge: “[Eno] would love to see us making albums a bit more like [Zooropa]. Where we go, ‘You know what? We’re not going to second-guess any of this. Let’s just go for it.’”

U2 Fans: We'd all love to see that, Edge.

*

guest20

Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2017, 09:16:33 PM »
I find the accused not guilty in giving SoI away.

I still haven't paid for it. ;)

However, on the charge of the most awful lyrics ever created, the jury finds U2 guilty to the first degree for "mole digging in a hole." Life, with no parole.

False accusation. Refujesus is clearly a far worse lyric!

*

The Edges Cat

  • Status: Experienced Mofo
  • *****
  • 4545
Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2017, 09:18:35 PM »
RefuJesus is on the Jury and He forgives all.  8)
The Edge: “[Eno] would love to see us making albums a bit more like [Zooropa]. Where we go, ‘You know what? We’re not going to second-guess any of this. Let’s just go for it.’”

U2 Fans: We'd all love to see that, Edge.

*

So Cruel

  • Status: Experienced Mofo
  • *****
  • 2120
  • It ain't no sin to be glad you're alive
Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2017, 09:21:51 PM »
CHARGE: Assault, Property Damage, Cringe Worthy Lyric

EVIDENCE: The defendant, Bono, of North Dublin, tore down trees (of which there weren't many) and used them on his enemies. He admitted to these crimes in the song Peace on Earth. The song will not be submitted into evidence as it has already done enough damage to our ears.
Definitive U2 Top 10: 1. One, 2. Bad, 3. With Or Without You, 4. Running to Stand Still, 5. So Cruel, 6. Ultraviolet, 7. I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, 8. Hawkmoon 269, 9. Red Hill Mining Town, 10. Luminous Times

*

The Edges Cat

  • Status: Experienced Mofo
  • *****
  • 4545
Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2017, 09:24:01 PM »
CHARGE: Did everything but murder you and I

EVIDENCE: Bono admitted his crimes in Window In The Skies.

Not what zero asked for, but I like So Cruel's style!
« Last Edit: December 13, 2017, 09:26:18 PM by The Edges Cat »
The Edge: “[Eno] would love to see us making albums a bit more like [Zooropa]. Where we go, ‘You know what? We’re not going to second-guess any of this. Let’s just go for it.’”

U2 Fans: We'd all love to see that, Edge.

*

guest87

Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2017, 09:30:30 PM »
Charge: Torture. 

Evidence: Exhibit A - the intro to All Because of You.  Hell, why limit it to the intro.

*

The Edges Cat

  • Status: Experienced Mofo
  • *****
  • 4545
Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2017, 09:35:05 PM »
Charge: Grievous Bodily Harm

Evidence: Exhibit A: megaphone. Exhibit B: Bono's mouth.
The Edge: “[Eno] would love to see us making albums a bit more like [Zooropa]. Where we go, ‘You know what? We’re not going to second-guess any of this. Let’s just go for it.’”

U2 Fans: We'd all love to see that, Edge.

*

Zeropartii

  • Status: Experienced Mofo
  • *****
  • 6677
  • Living Rent-Free in Your Head
Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #12 on: December 13, 2017, 09:37:18 PM »
CHARGE: Assault, Property Damage, Cringe Worthy Lyric

EVIDENCE: The defendant, Bono, of North Dublin, tore down trees (of which there weren't many) and used them on his enemies. He admitted to these crimes in the song Peace on Earth. The song will not be submitted into evidence as it has already done enough damage to our ears.

That's frigging hilarious

CHARGE: Burglary, Murder, Perjury, Conspiracy

EVIDENCE:  The defendant, Bono, of North Dublin, admitted to German Police in Berlin, that he "stole it cuz he needed the cash" and then "killed it cuz he wanted revenge".  Then confessed he lied cause another person asked him to.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

*

Codeguy

  • *
  • 10800
  • In the shadows
Re: Take U2 to Court
« Reply #13 on: December 13, 2017, 09:49:57 PM »
oh this is hilarious!
-------

8645110320

*

Zeropartii

  • Status: Experienced Mofo
  • *****
  • 6677
  • Living Rent-Free in Your Head
Take U2 to Court
« Reply #14 on: December 13, 2017, 10:01:15 PM »
CHARGE: Possession of Illegal Firearm, Unlawful Discharge of a Weapon, Public Endangerment

EVIDENCE: The defendant, Bono, of North Dublin, claimed he did not believe that his Israeli military-issued Uzi sub-machine gun was capable of producing automatic fire and that it subsequently "just went off in my hand"


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk