OK, so I have posted about religion a fair bit on here, so it's time for me to - as An Tha says - shut up and show us yer willy.
OK, so here is my religion: I am a satanist. In the beginning, the serpent told Eve "If you eat from the tree, your eyes will be opened and you shall become like God, with the knowledge of good and bad. I couldn't agree more. Freed from the confines of mainstream religious thought, which glorifies war, makes a man worth more than a woman, a straight person better than a gay person and faith better than reason, one comes to the inevitable conclusion that morality isn't defined by the pages of a book - much less any book written thousands of years ago - it is innate. For a Satanist, repentance is not a valid moral concept. You cannot murder someone, then repent and be granted penitence. The victim of your crime gets no heavenly reward. Your crime is permanent. For a Satanist, war is never justified by post-death rationalizations. Satan in the Bible is the voice of opposition to a totalitarian regime expressed best by the ten commandments. The first and second commandments forbid freedom of religion. The third forbids most art. The fourth is a cover for enforced tithing - the mandatory sacrifice to a priesthood of 10% of your earnings every sunday. The fifth demands allegience to even the most frightful of parents. Thou shalt not kill is innate. We do not need a moral code of conduct to tell us this - especially one that then goes on to tell us all the reasons to kill. The tenth commandment forbids thoughts. Specifically it forbids males (because females were not free moral agents) from coveting the things owned by rich landowning or levitical neighbors, including their slaves, their land, homes, animals or women - all equally considered property.
In this environment, the voice of opposition - Satan - which is hebrew for "resister" is the voice of reason. The freedom fighter.
I am a Satanist. Ask me anything.