Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?

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guest28

Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« on: July 18, 2019, 09:38:01 AM »
My youngest is 17. He struggles a lot with his Autism. It is now school Summer holidays and Im struggling to know what to do with him. He pretty much does nothing now, apart from lye on my bed during the day (that is no exaggeration, it is pretty much how he spends his days now)
As far as things go, for stuff to do in the house.....he has a couple of Games consoles he could play. He has a Nintendo DS he could play (he used to play these when younger). I have Full Sky Tv here.....Movies....sports etc, but he has never really been a fan of movies, apart from Chicken Run....which he used to watch over and over again.
I have tried to get him to go to Aquadome, Ice Skating, Ten Pin Bowling, Go Karting and other things....he doesnt want to go.
The only thing he does enjoy, is going for a drive in a car and going out for a walk (sometimes).
I dont have a car, so the rules that out....and the wether has been grim here this summer, for getting out for walks....but still we manage a couple of walks per week.

So, in a nutshell, that is how my son is. He has no friends, so has no one to pal about with. I just dont know what to do to help him have some nice times.

Does this all strike a bell with anyone? Has anyone here been thro this? Can anyone offer any help or hope?  :'(

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JTNash

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Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2019, 09:56:31 AM »
My youngest is 17. He struggles a lot with his Autism. It is now school Summer holidays and Im struggling to know what to do with him. He pretty much does nothing now, apart from lye on my bed during the day (that is no exaggeration, it is pretty much how he spends his days now)
As far as things go, for stuff to do in the house.....he has a couple of Games consoles he could play. He has a Nintendo DS he could play (he used to play these when younger). I have Full Sky Tv here.....Movies....sports etc, but he has never really been a fan of movies, apart from Chicken Run....which he used to watch over and over again.
I have tried to get him to go to Aquadome, Ice Skating, Ten Pin Bowling, Go Karting and other things....he doesnt want to go.
The only thing he does enjoy, is going for a drive in a car and going out for a walk (sometimes).
I dont have a car, so the rules that out....and the wether has been grim here this summer, for getting out for walks....but still we manage a couple of walks per week.

So, in a nutshell, that is how my son is. He has no friends, so has no one to pal about with. I just dont know what to do to help him have some nice times.

Does this all strike a bell with anyone? Has anyone here been thro this? Can anyone offer any help or hope?  :'(
do you have camp in the UK?  there could be a camp designed for Autistic kids he could go to? 
Plant a demon seed raise a flower of fire

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guest28

Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2019, 10:28:29 AM »

do you have camp in the UK?  there could be a camp designed for Autistic kids he could go to?
[/quote]

I am not aware of any such facilities My son attends a school especially for Special needs Kids. THey are aware of how much i struggle to keep Kieran amused in the summer. They didnt offer up any ideas about camps....nor did any of the "specialists" who attend the meetings we go to.

But, Knowing my son as i do, im not so sure he would be up for such a thing. He has a fear of being on his own, away from me. But i know, it would likely do him good to step out of his comfort zone, but convincing him of that, is a whole other ballgame. He is very blinkered in his thinking. Its so difficult to persuade him to try things

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JTNash

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Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2019, 11:46:03 AM »

do you have camp in the UK?  there could be a camp designed for Autistic kids he could go to?

I am not aware of any such facilities My son attends a school especially for Special needs Kids. THey are aware of how much i struggle to keep Kieran amused in the summer. They didnt offer up any ideas about camps....nor did any of the "specialists" who attend the meetings we go to.

But, Knowing my son as i do, im not so sure he would be up for such a thing. He has a fear of being on his own, away from me. But i know, it would likely do him good to step out of his comfort zone, but convincing him of that, is a whole other ballgame. He is very blinkered in his thinking. Its so difficult to persuade him to try things
[/quote] what about Scouts?  they usually are inclusive in their programming
Plant a demon seed raise a flower of fire

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riffraff

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Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2019, 12:00:30 PM »
Hey, Smee...you've mentioned before that Kieran likes music...is there anything in your area that could offer some type of musical stimulus for him somehow?
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight, these tears are going nowhere

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guest411

Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2019, 01:08:29 PM »
Are there not any Autism support groups in your region, smee?


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guest28

Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2019, 07:37:52 AM »
Hey, Smee...you've mentioned before that Kieran likes music...is there anything in your area that could offer some type of musical stimulus for him somehow?

We tried him with Keyboard lessons before, he didnt take to it. We have also tried him with drums and guitar. But he never took to those earlier. But yeah, he does enjoy his music...especially 80's. he is obsessed with the 80s lol. He told me today that he wished he could have lived thro the 80s

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guest28

Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2019, 07:40:25 AM »
Are there not any Autism support groups in your region, smee?

There is one in the whole of the Highlands. As luck would have it....it is situated 5 mins walk from my flat. BUT, i tried taking Kieran there, it wasnt for him. My friend Andrew works there, so i might see if i can talk Kieran into trying it again. Seems to be mainly adults that use the service.

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Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2019, 09:08:58 AM »
Are there not any Autism support groups in your region, smee?

There is one in the whole of the Highlands. As luck would have it....it is situated 5 mins walk from my flat. BUT, i tried taking Kieran there, it wasnt for him. My friend Andrew works there, so i might see if i can talk Kieran into trying it again. Seems to be mainly adults that use the service.
Smee, DO try it again...it's worth a shot, right?
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight, these tears are going nowhere

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guest411

Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2019, 11:58:48 AM »
Are there not any Autism support groups in your region, smee?

There is one in the whole of the Highlands. As luck would have it....it is situated 5 mins walk from my flat. BUT, i tried taking Kieran there, it wasnt for him. My friend Andrew works there, so i might see if i can talk Kieran into trying it again. Seems to be mainly adults that use the service.
Smee, DO try it again...it's worth a shot, right?

You could still use their help and advice though.  I'd imagine they're a much better resource than a bunch of U2 fans who don't really understand your situation.  It's handy that it's close by and that your mate works there.

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So Cruel

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Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2019, 01:17:00 PM »
I think Charlie brings up a good point about talking to your mate and the support group for advice.

My thought is every day to go out and do something, even if he doesnít want to. Make it a routine. 1 day itís a walk, next day itís head into town for ice cream, next day itís go to a movie, next day a hike, etc...Get into the routine of going out to do something and maybe he might get used to it and also get used to being around others. Once that becomes the norm maybe heíll even look forward to it.

Best of luck to you and your son.
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guest28

Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2019, 01:34:53 PM »
Are there not any Autism support groups in your region, smee?

There is one in the whole of the Highlands. As luck would have it....it is situated 5 mins walk from my flat. BUT, i tried taking Kieran there, it wasnt for him. My friend Andrew works there, so i might see if i can talk Kieran into trying it again. Seems to be mainly adults that use the service.
Smee, DO try it again...it's worth a shot, right?

You could still use their help and advice though.  I'd imagine they're a much better resource than a bunch of U2 fans who don't really understand your situation.  It's handy that it's close by and that your mate works there.

I went to 3 x 1hr appointments with them, to seek advice, regarding this very situation i mentioned. I was told that sadly, the ages from about 14 to early 20s is a difficult time for kids on the spectrum and some do seem to withdraw from life and just enjoy solitude and resting.
Im sure we will muddle thro. We usually do. That said, in years gone by, Kieran did have an interest in some things, to keep him going.

We are now at the end of week 2 of the Holibobs.....so got 4 to go. I will be renting a car for a week, so we can go for drives. So, that just leaves 3 weeks to fill

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Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #12 on: July 19, 2019, 01:38:24 PM »
Smee, from everything you've said about your son over the time that I've "known" you on here,
you seem to be a great Dad, and he is always your first concern. Just give him your time, your patience, and of course, your love. Bless you both...you are lucky to have each other.
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight, these tears are going nowhere

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guest411

Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2019, 04:07:32 PM »
Are there not any Autism support groups in your region, smee?

There is one in the whole of the Highlands. As luck would have it....it is situated 5 mins walk from my flat. BUT, i tried taking Kieran there, it wasnt for him. My friend Andrew works there, so i might see if i can talk Kieran into trying it again. Seems to be mainly adults that use the service.
Smee, DO try it again...it's worth a shot, right?

You could still use their help and advice though.  I'd imagine they're a much better resource than a bunch of U2 fans who don't really understand your situation.  It's handy that it's close by and that your mate works there.

I went to 3 x 1hr appointments with them, to seek advice, regarding this very situation i mentioned. I was told that sadly, the ages from about 14 to early 20s is a difficult time for kids on the spectrum and some do seem to withdraw from life and just enjoy solitude and resting.
Im sure we will muddle thro. We usually do. That said, in years gone by, Kieran did have an interest in some things, to keep him going.

We are now at the end of week 2 of the Holibobs.....so got 4 to go. I will be renting a car for a week, so we can go for drives. So, that just leaves 3 weeks to fill

The thing is he could still enjoy a rich interior life with lots of interests.  I mean it must be pretty depressing for him and you if he doesn't.

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laoghaire

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Re: Anyone here ever raised an Autistic teenager?
« Reply #14 on: July 20, 2019, 09:26:27 AM »
When you say he's on the bed all day, is he sleeping, daydreaming, reading, using a phone or tablet?

Most of the teens I know, including mine, stay on their beds using their phones or gaming. Mine uses her phone and draws. I don't know what it's like in Scotland but in the US these days it's practically illegal to let your kids go out unsupervised  :o so they all just hang out on their beds unless being taken somewhere. So he's in very good company there. The question just is what does he do while on the bed?