Goodby from Willy

Dear forum members,

I have posted this in a different thread but I would like to leave this forum having said my bit, under the circumstances.

I have a particular sense of humour which perhaps doesn’t translate well on a forum. I accept that. I like a bit of a wind up, yes. I like to have a laugh too. Perhaps I am also a little defensive, which comes across as being rude. I will not, however, accept being called a bully.

When I used the words ‘If you are able’ in response to Soloyan I wasn’t suggesting he is incapable. Perhaps a better phrasing would have been ‘if you feel you you are able’. Or, if you prefer a still lighter version, ‘if you want to’. The reason I did that is because, just as he views me in a particular way, I genuinely do not believe he is entirely innocent of some of the behaviours he has accused me of. An tha may disagree but an tha is not god. His opinion is just that. An opinion.

Even so, between Soloyan, the moderators and other people telling me to fuck off and calling me an asshole I can see I am not welcome here.

The irony of all this being rounding on an individual - which is what is happening here - is, in itself, a form of bullying, even if you think you are right. A modern day witch hunt, if you prefer. Rounding on an individual is not something I’d do, but then again I’m not a bully.

I’ll sign off from this forum. I might have a look at what’s happening in the future, but not as an active member with an account. In fact, mods why not block me from signing up. With that in mind perhaps people could refrain from writing ‘thank fuck he’s gone’, or whatever, as whether you like it or not, I have feelings that get hurt too. I hope some of my posts have revealed me as a thoughtful human being, in among the banter.

I wish you all well.

Willy

Willy,

I for one do not wish to see you feel you need to stop being a member of the community here.

It saddens me that people can't get on and co-exist without the kind of issues we have been dealing with over the last few days...but history shows us that it is sadly inevitable that often people can't.

I suppose that is a reflection of life and the world generally, and we as hard as we try here to find a way for all to feel happy and all to have a voice, there is always somebody it seems who feels things are not right, or they don't like how things are etc......

It seems it is impossible to please everybody all the time - even when we go out of our way to be as fair and reasonable as we can and even when we implore people to communicate in this community with decency and respect towards each other....whilst enjoying the freedom of not being heavily moderated and restricted in what you can talk about and how.

All we can really do is set out the vision and ask people to buy in and make it work.

If people feel they can't or don't want to or if they disagree with the vision or if they feel others are in their way, or anything else then sadly we simply have to respect that is their view.

There aren't in my view many forums out there where people are treated with as much respect, given as much freedom and treated as fairly by the moderators as here - i am sure some people will and do disagree with that and also disgaree with our ethos....i hope there are more who agree, but ultimately if someone feels they can't make it work here then it isn't for the want of trying on our behalf as mods, and it isn't because the conidtions here do not make it easy to make it work.

I hope you reconsider your stance and i hope this message helps you to see there is no agenda here against you from the mod team - you are welcome here as far as we are concerned and are a valued part of this community the same as anyone else.....whether you can make it work here frankly is up to you and those you share this community with.


Cheers

Willy,

I for one do not wish to see you feel you need to stop being a member of the community here.

It saddens me that people can't get on and co-exist without the kind of issues we have been dealing with over the last few days...but history shows us that it is sadly inevitable that often people can't.

I suppose that is a reflection of life and the world generally, and we as hard as we try here to find a way for all to feel happy and all to have a voice, there is always somebody it seems who feels things are not right, or they don't like how things are etc......

It seems it is impossible to please everybody all the time - even when we go out of our way to be as fair and reasonable as we can and even when we implore people to communicate in this community with decency and respect towards each other....whilst enjoying the freedom of not being heavily moderated and restricted in what you can talk about and how.

All we can really do is set out the vision and ask people to buy in and make it work.

If people feel they can't or don't want to or if they disagree with the vision or if they feel others are in their way, or anything else then sadly we simply have to respect that is their view.

There aren't in my view many forums out there where people are treated with as much respect, given as much freedom and treated as fairly by the moderators as here - i am sure some people will and do disagree with that and also disgaree with our ethos....i hope there are more who agree, but ultimately if someone feels they can't make it work here then it isn't for the want of trying on our behalf as mods, and it isn't because the conidtions here do not make it easy to make it work.

I hope you reconsider your stance and i hope this message helps you to see there is no agenda here against you from the mod team - you are welcome here as far as we are concerned and are a valued part of this community the same as anyone else.....whether you can make it work here frankly is up to you and those you share this community with.


Cheers

Dear An Tha,

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.

I can see my temperament is not really suited to a message board. I have a bone dry sense of humour which probably doesn't translate well over the internet. That being the case I can therefore accept someone calling me an asshole.

What I cannot accept is the likes of Soloyan picking me apart in public, then you and others siding him. If that's not bullying, I don't know what is. At least I admit I can be an asshole. That said soloyan isn't the only offender. Yet others get to keep their posts calling me an asshole and telling me to fuck off.

If Soloyan responds at all he will no doubt accuse me of crocodile tears or whatever. Or whatever theory he's come up with. As stated he and no one else here will convince me I am a bully. You might be able to convince yourselves of that however. Soloyan and I had a run in before when I left a few months ago and I know exactly what he is doing. I am studying for a degree in forensic psychology mate. I am not stupid.

Perhaps this conversation has been useful for moderating going forward. I don't wish any of you mods any ill. Even Riff and I came to some kind of understanding! And I hope she could see a sensitive person somewhere behind the ill conceived banter.

I won't respond to anything else about this matter as I feel we will just go round in circles. I have found the moderating here fair and the mods very personable and fun. I've enjoyed some banter. I have made some people laugh. I have demonstrated a pretty decent knowledge of U2 despite being accused of being a 'troll'. And certainly Michael Brook will thank me for having his back.

I have been about as open and honest as I can here. I'm going to take a break from the forum, think about if I can post and not manage to upset people in future. If I can, I'll come back and improved version of my online self.

For now, I'll say goodbye and all the best.

Willy

I hope you change your mind, Willy. Perhaps I should have spoken up sooner with positive words, as I do value your membership here.

Best wishes, whatever you choose to do.

A good airing of views between those involved as sensible, mature adults will often solve these sort of problems.

All it really needs is people to have an open mind, listen to each other and respect each others positions/differences/different senses of humour/what see as banter etc and then when communicating generally do so with those things in mind....will everyone get on all the time? No...no way...

Can people agree to disagree or even agree they can't really talk with someone else, or when talking with someone else be mindful of them being more sensitive than someone else is to something, or cultural differences need to be considered and so on? Well i think so, yes!!

All the 'moderation' by mods in the world does not really help achieve that, however good that moderation thinks it is or how happy some are to see it - that is best achieved and owned by all of us, all the time we are here together.

Quote from: an tha on August 03, 2020, 07:06:33 AM

Willy,

I for one do not wish to see you feel you need to stop being a member of the community here.

It saddens me that people can't get on and co-exist without the kind of issues we have been dealing with over the last few days...but history shows us that it is sadly inevitable that often people can't.

I suppose that is a reflection of life and the world generally, and we as hard as we try here to find a way for all to feel happy and all to have a voice, there is always somebody it seems who feels things are not right, or they don't like how things are etc......

It seems it is impossible to please everybody all the time - even when we go out of our way to be as fair and reasonable as we can and even when we implore people to communicate in this community with decency and respect towards each other....whilst enjoying the freedom of not being heavily moderated and restricted in what you can talk about and how.

All we can really do is set out the vision and ask people to buy in and make it work.

If people feel they can't or don't want to or if they disagree with the vision or if they feel others are in their way, or anything else then sadly we simply have to respect that is their view.

There aren't in my view many forums out there where people are treated with as much respect, given as much freedom and treated as fairly by the moderators as here - i am sure some people will and do disagree with that and also disgaree with our ethos....i hope there are more who agree, but ultimately if someone feels they can't make it work here then it isn't for the want of trying on our behalf as mods, and it isn't because the conidtions here do not make it easy to make it work.

I hope you reconsider your stance and i hope this message helps you to see there is no agenda here against you from the mod team - you are welcome here as far as we are concerned and are a valued part of this community the same as anyone else.....whether you can make it work here frankly is up to you and those you share this community with.


Cheers

Dear An Tha,

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.

I can see my temperament is not really suited to a message board. I have a bone dry sense of humour which probably doesn't translate well over the internet. That being the case I can therefore accept someone calling me an asshole.

What I cannot accept is the likes of Soloyan picking me apart in public, then you and others siding him. If that's not bullying, I don't know what is. At least I admit I can be an asshole. That said soloyan isn't the only offender. Yet others get to keep their posts calling me an asshole and telling me to fuck off.

If Soloyan responds at all he will no doubt accuse me of crocodile tears or whatever. Or whatever theory he's come up with. As stated he and no one else here will convince me I am a bully. You might be able to convince yourselves of that however. Soloyan and I had a run in before when I left a few months ago and I know exactly what he is doing. I am studying for a degree in forensic psychology mate. I am not stupid.

Perhaps this conversation has been useful for moderating going forward. I don't wish any of you mods any ill. Even Riff and I came to some kind of understanding! And I hope she could see a sensitive person somewhere behind the ill conceived banter.

I won't respond to anything else about this matter as I feel we will just go round in circles. I have found the moderating here fair and the mods very personable and fun. I've enjoyed some banter. I have made some people laugh. I have demonstrated a pretty decent knowledge of U2 despite being accused of being a 'troll'. And certainly Michael Brook will thank me for having his back.

I have been about as open and honest as I can here. I'm going to take a break from the forum, think about if I can post and not manage to upset people in future. If I can, I'll come back and improved version of my online self.

For now, I'll say goodbye and all the best.

Willy

Dear Willy,

Everything I said about you is based on what you posted. Nothing else.
I don’t need a degree in forensic psychology to call out on a manipulator or a bully. I grew up with those kinds of persons. I have developed a kind of radar, now.

Your last posts are the archetype of manipulative behavior.
1/Apologize (when you have previously been promoting sarcasm and made false excuses)
2/Try and pass for the victim
3/Try and make your victims look like the actual bullies
4/threaten to go and make a big deal out of it (I mean who opens a thread in the general sections of a U2 forum to say goodbye ?)
5/not go
6/get people to actually beg for you not to go

Black board manipulation.

Of course you won’t admit to being a bully because the core problem of bullies is that they will never question themselves. They will accuse others, distort reality and facts to get their way. Theirs is just a game of power. Find someone that they feel they can make their pet. Hence coming back on a forum, not as much for the sake of conversation as it is to seek for power.

Look at the Michael Brook conversation. Rather than actually promoting MB and giving examples to illustrate your opinion, you were calling us uneducated or deaf. Multiple times. You just used power, in whatever way you were able to. My bad is that I can’t let it pass.

I’m perfectly fine being called a bully by a bully. It’s expected.

As I said, I’m working on a piece that’ll clear the air about all that. Bear with me.

Quote from: Big_Willy_Wonka on August 03, 2020, 07:36:52 AM

Quote from: an tha on August 03, 2020, 07:06:33 AM

Willy,

I for one do not wish to see you feel you need to stop being a member of the community here.

It saddens me that people can't get on and co-exist without the kind of issues we have been dealing with over the last few days...but history shows us that it is sadly inevitable that often people can't.

I suppose that is a reflection of life and the world generally, and we as hard as we try here to find a way for all to feel happy and all to have a voice, there is always somebody it seems who feels things are not right, or they don't like how things are etc......

It seems it is impossible to please everybody all the time - even when we go out of our way to be as fair and reasonable as we can and even when we implore people to communicate in this community with decency and respect towards each other....whilst enjoying the freedom of not being heavily moderated and restricted in what you can talk about and how.

All we can really do is set out the vision and ask people to buy in and make it work.

If people feel they can't or don't want to or if they disagree with the vision or if they feel others are in their way, or anything else then sadly we simply have to respect that is their view.

There aren't in my view many forums out there where people are treated with as much respect, given as much freedom and treated as fairly by the moderators as here - i am sure some people will and do disagree with that and also disgaree with our ethos....i hope there are more who agree, but ultimately if someone feels they can't make it work here then it isn't for the want of trying on our behalf as mods, and it isn't because the conidtions here do not make it easy to make it work.

I hope you reconsider your stance and i hope this message helps you to see there is no agenda here against you from the mod team - you are welcome here as far as we are concerned and are a valued part of this community the same as anyone else.....whether you can make it work here frankly is up to you and those you share this community with.


Cheers

Dear An Tha,

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.

I can see my temperament is not really suited to a message board. I have a bone dry sense of humour which probably doesn't translate well over the internet. That being the case I can therefore accept someone calling me an asshole.

What I cannot accept is the likes of Soloyan picking me apart in public, then you and others siding him. If that's not bullying, I don't know what is. At least I admit I can be an asshole. That said soloyan isn't the only offender. Yet others get to keep their posts calling me an asshole and telling me to fuck off.

If Soloyan responds at all he will no doubt accuse me of crocodile tears or whatever. Or whatever theory he's come up with. As stated he and no one else here will convince me I am a bully. You might be able to convince yourselves of that however. Soloyan and I had a run in before when I left a few months ago and I know exactly what he is doing. I am studying for a degree in forensic psychology mate. I am not stupid.

Perhaps this conversation has been useful for moderating going forward. I don't wish any of you mods any ill. Even Riff and I came to some kind of understanding! And I hope she could see a sensitive person somewhere behind the ill conceived banter.

I won't respond to anything else about this matter as I feel we will just go round in circles. I have found the moderating here fair and the mods very personable and fun. I've enjoyed some banter. I have made some people laugh. I have demonstrated a pretty decent knowledge of U2 despite being accused of being a 'troll'. And certainly Michael Brook will thank me for having his back.

I have been about as open and honest as I can here. I'm going to take a break from the forum, think about if I can post and not manage to upset people in future. If I can, I'll come back and improved version of my online self.

For now, I'll say goodbye and all the best.

Willy

Dear Willy,

Everything I said about you is based on what you posted. Nothing else.
I don’t need a degree in forensic psychology to call out on a manipulator or a bully. I grew up with those kinds of persons. I have developed a kind of radar, now.

Your last posts are the archetype of manipulative behavior.
1/Apologize (when you have previously been promoting sarcasm and made false excuses)
2/Try and pass for the victim
3/Try and make your victims look like the actual bullies
4/threaten to go and make a big deal out of it (I mean who opens a thread in the general sections of a U2 forum to say goodbye ?)
5/not go
6/get people to actually beg for you not to go

Black board manipulation.

Of course you won’t admit to being a bully because the core problem of bullies is that they will never question themselves. They will accuse others, distort reality and facts to get their way. Theirs is just a game of power. Find someone that they feel they can make their pet. Hence coming back on a forum, not as much for the sake of conversation as it is to seek for power.

Look at the Michael Brook conversation. Rather than actually promoting MB and giving examples to illustrate your opinion, you were calling us uneducated or deaf. Multiple times. You just used power, in whatever way you were able to. My bad is that I can’t let it pass.

I’m perfectly fine being called a bully by a bully. It’s expected.

As I said, I’m working on a piece that’ll clear the air about all that. Bear with me.

Soloyan you have not ONCE credited me with anything despite me admitting I could be an asshole, despite me admitting my online behaviour is sometimes questionable, despite me saying I also add something to the forum. You have not engaged in any way with a white flag that had me admitting my shortcomings in the hope that YOU might have a role to play too. Instead all you have done is said your only failing is that you won't allow my DISGRACEFUL behaviour to pass. You are coming across as the mother theresa of the forum.

You're like the archetypal virtue signaller than just shuts people down. No need to engage with any points being made. You have decided I am wrong, you are right and you are going to prove it by going away and 'working on a piece' that exposes me as a villain. That does not make you right. It just means you wish to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on to convince anyone who can be bothered to read these exchanges that I am a bully. 

If you are genuinely upset by me saying someone that can't hear Michal Brook in U2's music has 'cloth ears' then I obviously need to completely re think my use of the English language. That back and forth was OBVIOUSLY BANTER!!! People found it funny! It was obvious I was making a partially serious point while just being difficult and taking my assertions to ludicrous levels. Hell I even started a poll after that which referenced Michael Brook in a lighthearted way. But oh no, you still need to go on about it all and write a dissertation complete with concepts, claims and evidence to prove YOU. ARE. RIGHT. Have you ever heard of 'over compensating' because that is EXACTLY what you are doing.

When you post your essay consider your motivations for carrying on. And on. And on. About me. Consider then that perhaps there might be more than a little in you that you are accusing me of. I have waived the white flag. I have admitted my shortcomings. I have wished everyone the best. And despite that we all have to wait to see what amazing insights you come up with to expose me as the bad guy.

Willy, i believe that you add something to this forum and do not wish to see you leave

i can also say the same thing for Soloyan and everyone else that i have interacted with in my short time here

all very pleasant people

and i do believe the mods have it right and do a wonderful job

i hope that you will be able to work out your differences with others and choose to stick around

we are all different but typically the world spins better because of it

take a break if you must or whatever you feel necessary, but hopefully you don't give up on us because of disagreements with one or two members

Maybe there should be a child board in the Welcome section for flouncing posts/threads, so when members want to announce their departure, there'll be a place where everyone can easily find it.

A good idea - maybe we could call it 'If you walk away, walk away'

Quote from: imaginary friend on August 03, 2020, 09:35:41 AM

Maybe there should be a child board in the Welcome section for flouncing posts/threads, so when members want to announce their departure, there'll be a place where everyone can easily find it.

A good idea - maybe we could call it 'If you walk away, walk away'

I will follow...

Quote from: Soloyan on August 03, 2020, 08:56:15 AM

Quote from: Big_Willy_Wonka on August 03, 2020, 07:36:52 AM

Quote from: an tha on August 03, 2020, 07:06:33 AM

Willy,

I for one do not wish to see you feel you need to stop being a member of the community here.

It saddens me that people can't get on and co-exist without the kind of issues we have been dealing with over the last few days...but history shows us that it is sadly inevitable that often people can't.

I suppose that is a reflection of life and the world generally, and we as hard as we try here to find a way for all to feel happy and all to have a voice, there is always somebody it seems who feels things are not right, or they don't like how things are etc......

It seems it is impossible to please everybody all the time - even when we go out of our way to be as fair and reasonable as we can and even when we implore people to communicate in this community with decency and respect towards each other....whilst enjoying the freedom of not being heavily moderated and restricted in what you can talk about and how.

All we can really do is set out the vision and ask people to buy in and make it work.

If people feel they can't or don't want to or if they disagree with the vision or if they feel others are in their way, or anything else then sadly we simply have to respect that is their view.

There aren't in my view many forums out there where people are treated with as much respect, given as much freedom and treated as fairly by the moderators as here - i am sure some people will and do disagree with that and also disgaree with our ethos....i hope there are more who agree, but ultimately if someone feels they can't make it work here then it isn't for the want of trying on our behalf as mods, and it isn't because the conidtions here do not make it easy to make it work.

I hope you reconsider your stance and i hope this message helps you to see there is no agenda here against you from the mod team - you are welcome here as far as we are concerned and are a valued part of this community the same as anyone else.....whether you can make it work here frankly is up to you and those you share this community with.


Cheers

Dear An Tha,

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.

I can see my temperament is not really suited to a message board. I have a bone dry sense of humour which probably doesn't translate well over the internet. That being the case I can therefore accept someone calling me an asshole.

What I cannot accept is the likes of Soloyan picking me apart in public, then you and others siding him. If that's not bullying, I don't know what is. At least I admit I can be an asshole. That said soloyan isn't the only offender. Yet others get to keep their posts calling me an asshole and telling me to fuck off.

If Soloyan responds at all he will no doubt accuse me of crocodile tears or whatever. Or whatever theory he's come up with. As stated he and no one else here will convince me I am a bully. You might be able to convince yourselves of that however. Soloyan and I had a run in before when I left a few months ago and I know exactly what he is doing. I am studying for a degree in forensic psychology mate. I am not stupid.

Perhaps this conversation has been useful for moderating going forward. I don't wish any of you mods any ill. Even Riff and I came to some kind of understanding! And I hope she could see a sensitive person somewhere behind the ill conceived banter.

I won't respond to anything else about this matter as I feel we will just go round in circles. I have found the moderating here fair and the mods very personable and fun. I've enjoyed some banter. I have made some people laugh. I have demonstrated a pretty decent knowledge of U2 despite being accused of being a 'troll'. And certainly Michael Brook will thank me for having his back.

I have been about as open and honest as I can here. I'm going to take a break from the forum, think about if I can post and not manage to upset people in future. If I can, I'll come back and improved version of my online self.

For now, I'll say goodbye and all the best.

Willy

Dear Willy,

Everything I said about you is based on what you posted. Nothing else.
I don’t need a degree in forensic psychology to call out on a manipulator or a bully. I grew up with those kinds of persons. I have developed a kind of radar, now.

Your last posts are the archetype of manipulative behavior.
1/Apologize (when you have previously been promoting sarcasm and made false excuses)
2/Try and pass for the victim
3/Try and make your victims look like the actual bullies
4/threaten to go and make a big deal out of it (I mean who opens a thread in the general sections of a U2 forum to say goodbye ?)
5/not go
6/get people to actually beg for you not to go

Black board manipulation.

Of course you won’t admit to being a bully because the core problem of bullies is that they will never question themselves. They will accuse others, distort reality and facts to get their way. Theirs is just a game of power. Find someone that they feel they can make their pet. Hence coming back on a forum, not as much for the sake of conversation as it is to seek for power.

Look at the Michael Brook conversation. Rather than actually promoting MB and giving examples to illustrate your opinion, you were calling us uneducated or deaf. Multiple times. You just used power, in whatever way you were able to. My bad is that I can’t let it pass.

I’m perfectly fine being called a bully by a bully. It’s expected.

As I said, I’m working on a piece that’ll clear the air about all that. Bear with me.

Soloyan you have not ONCE credited me with anything despite me admitting I could be an asshole, despite me admitting my online behaviour is sometimes questionable, despite me saying I also add something to the forum. You have not engaged in any way with a white flag that had me admitting my shortcomings in the hope that YOU might have a role to play too. Instead all you have done is said your only failing is that you won't allow my DISGRACEFUL behaviour to pass. You are coming across as the mother theresa of the forum.

You're like the archetypal virtue signaller than just shuts people down. No need to engage with any points being made. You have decided I am wrong, you are right and you are going to prove it by going away and 'working on a piece' that exposes me as a villain. That does not make you right. It just means you wish to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on to convince anyone who can be bothered to read these exchanges that I am a bully.

If you are genuinely upset by me saying someone that can't hear Michal Brook in U2's music has 'cloth ears' then I obviously need to completely re think my use of the English language. That back and forth was OBVIOUSLY BANTER!!! People found it funny! It was obvious I was making a partially serious point while just being difficult and taking my assertions to ludicrous levels. Hell I even started a poll after that which referenced Michael Brook in a lighthearted way. But oh no, you still need to go on about it all and write a dissertation complete with concepts, claims and evidence to prove YOU. ARE. RIGHT. Have you ever heard of 'over compensating' because that is EXACTLY what you are doing.

When you post your essay consider your motivations for carrying on. And on. And on. About me. Consider then that perhaps there might be more than a little in you that you are accusing me of. I have waived the white flag. I have admitted my shortcomings. I have wished everyone the best. And despite that we all have to wait to see what amazing insights you come up with to expose me as the bad guy.

Rest assured. It’s not an essay. And it’s not about you.

But I guarantee you’ll have an opportunity to reflect on yourself and show everyone on this forum what you’re really made of. If you genuinely want to.

As I always did when I challenged you in what you refer as « banter », I’ll make you a favor by giving you an opportunity to express yourself in a more comprehensive way. That’s all I’ve ever done, in fact, even with my previous post.

Willy, i believe that you add something to this forum and do not wish to see you leave

i can also say the same thing for Soloyan and everyone else that i have interacted with in my short time here

all very pleasant people

and i do believe the mods have it right and do a wonderful job

i hope that you will be able to work out your differences with others and choose to stick around

we are all different but typically the world spins better because of it

take a break if you must or whatever you feel necessary, but hopefully you don't give up on us because of disagreements with one or two members

+1 to all of this.

Quote from: Big_Willy_Wonka on August 03, 2020, 09:28:34 AM

Quote from: Soloyan on August 03, 2020, 08:56:15 AM

Quote from: Big_Willy_Wonka on August 03, 2020, 07:36:52 AM

Quote from: an tha on August 03, 2020, 07:06:33 AM

Willy,

I for one do not wish to see you feel you need to stop being a member of the community here.

It saddens me that people can't get on and co-exist without the kind of issues we have been dealing with over the last few days...but history shows us that it is sadly inevitable that often people can't.

I suppose that is a reflection of life and the world generally, and we as hard as we try here to find a way for all to feel happy and all to have a voice, there is always somebody it seems who feels things are not right, or they don't like how things are etc......

It seems it is impossible to please everybody all the time - even when we go out of our way to be as fair and reasonable as we can and even when we implore people to communicate in this community with decency and respect towards each other....whilst enjoying the freedom of not being heavily moderated and restricted in what you can talk about and how.

All we can really do is set out the vision and ask people to buy in and make it work.

If people feel they can't or don't want to or if they disagree with the vision or if they feel others are in their way, or anything else then sadly we simply have to respect that is their view.

There aren't in my view many forums out there where people are treated with as much respect, given as much freedom and treated as fairly by the moderators as here - i am sure some people will and do disagree with that and also disgaree with our ethos....i hope there are more who agree, but ultimately if someone feels they can't make it work here then it isn't for the want of trying on our behalf as mods, and it isn't because the conidtions here do not make it easy to make it work.

I hope you reconsider your stance and i hope this message helps you to see there is no agenda here against you from the mod team - you are welcome here as far as we are concerned and are a valued part of this community the same as anyone else.....whether you can make it work here frankly is up to you and those you share this community with.


Cheers

Dear An Tha,

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.

I can see my temperament is not really suited to a message board. I have a bone dry sense of humour which probably doesn't translate well over the internet. That being the case I can therefore accept someone calling me an asshole.

What I cannot accept is the likes of Soloyan picking me apart in public, then you and others siding him. If that's not bullying, I don't know what is. At least I admit I can be an asshole. That said soloyan isn't the only offender. Yet others get to keep their posts calling me an asshole and telling me to fuck off.

If Soloyan responds at all he will no doubt accuse me of crocodile tears or whatever. Or whatever theory he's come up with. As stated he and no one else here will convince me I am a bully. You might be able to convince yourselves of that however. Soloyan and I had a run in before when I left a few months ago and I know exactly what he is doing. I am studying for a degree in forensic psychology mate. I am not stupid.

Perhaps this conversation has been useful for moderating going forward. I don't wish any of you mods any ill. Even Riff and I came to some kind of understanding! And I hope she could see a sensitive person somewhere behind the ill conceived banter.

I won't respond to anything else about this matter as I feel we will just go round in circles. I have found the moderating here fair and the mods very personable and fun. I've enjoyed some banter. I have made some people laugh. I have demonstrated a pretty decent knowledge of U2 despite being accused of being a 'troll'. And certainly Michael Brook will thank me for having his back.

I have been about as open and honest as I can here. I'm going to take a break from the forum, think about if I can post and not manage to upset people in future. If I can, I'll come back and improved version of my online self.

For now, I'll say goodbye and all the best.

Willy

Dear Willy,

Everything I said about you is based on what you posted. Nothing else.
I don’t need a degree in forensic psychology to call out on a manipulator or a bully. I grew up with those kinds of persons. I have developed a kind of radar, now.

Your last posts are the archetype of manipulative behavior.
1/Apologize (when you have previously been promoting sarcasm and made false excuses)
2/Try and pass for the victim
3/Try and make your victims look like the actual bullies
4/threaten to go and make a big deal out of it (I mean who opens a thread in the general sections of a U2 forum to say goodbye ?)
5/not go
6/get people to actually beg for you not to go

Black board manipulation.

Of course you won’t admit to being a bully because the core problem of bullies is that they will never question themselves. They will accuse others, distort reality and facts to get their way. Theirs is just a game of power. Find someone that they feel they can make their pet. Hence coming back on a forum, not as much for the sake of conversation as it is to seek for power.

Look at the Michael Brook conversation. Rather than actually promoting MB and giving examples to illustrate your opinion, you were calling us uneducated or deaf. Multiple times. You just used power, in whatever way you were able to. My bad is that I can’t let it pass.

I’m perfectly fine being called a bully by a bully. It’s expected.

As I said, I’m working on a piece that’ll clear the air about all that. Bear with me.

Soloyan you have not ONCE credited me with anything despite me admitting I could be an asshole, despite me admitting my online behaviour is sometimes questionable, despite me saying I also add something to the forum. You have not engaged in any way with a white flag that had me admitting my shortcomings in the hope that YOU might have a role to play too. Instead all you have done is said your only failing is that you won't allow my DISGRACEFUL behaviour to pass. You are coming across as the mother theresa of the forum.

You're like the archetypal virtue signaller than just shuts people down. No need to engage with any points being made. You have decided I am wrong, you are right and you are going to prove it by going away and 'working on a piece' that exposes me as a villain. That does not make you right. It just means you wish to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on to convince anyone who can be bothered to read these exchanges that I am a bully.

If you are genuinely upset by me saying someone that can't hear Michal Brook in U2's music has 'cloth ears' then I obviously need to completely re think my use of the English language. That back and forth was OBVIOUSLY BANTER!!! People found it funny! It was obvious I was making a partially serious point while just being difficult and taking my assertions to ludicrous levels. Hell I even started a poll after that which referenced Michael Brook in a lighthearted way. But oh no, you still need to go on about it all and write a dissertation complete with concepts, claims and evidence to prove YOU. ARE. RIGHT. Have you ever heard of 'over compensating' because that is EXACTLY what you are doing.

When you post your essay consider your motivations for carrying on. And on. And on. About me. Consider then that perhaps there might be more than a little in you that you are accusing me of. I have waived the white flag. I have admitted my shortcomings. I have wished everyone the best. And despite that we all have to wait to see what amazing insights you come up with to expose me as the bad guy.

Rest assured. It’s not an essay. And it’s not about you.

But I guarantee you’ll have an opportunity to reflect on yourself and show everyone on this forum what you’re really made of. If you genuinely want to.

As I always did when I challenged you in what you refer as « banter », I’ll make you a favor by giving you an opportunity to express yourself in a more comprehensive way. That’s all I’ve ever done, in fact, even with my previous post.

Express myself in a more comprehensive way? My last response invited you to do just that but, as ever, you have decided the way things are and YOU. WILL. PROVE. IT. But, seeing as you pointed it out, I'll have the good manners to actually respond to your previous post below. Answers in bold from me. That way the whole forum can see what I am really made of. Here goes :

Your last posts are the archetype of manipulative behavior.

1/Apologize (when you have previously been promoting sarcasm and made false excuses)

You are correct I did that yesterday. I apologised to An Tha. Then I invited you to consider your role. Which, ironically, I will not apologise for.

2/Try and pass for the victim

You accused me of bullying. I suggested you have something of the bully about you too. That's not playing the victim. It's defending my position.

3/Try and make your victims look like the actual bullies

You are a bully. You are not a victim. You just do it in a far more insidious way. Are we seriously going to have a 'me too' moment on a U2 forum?

4/threaten to go and make a big deal out of it (I mean who opens a thread in the general sections of a U2 forum to say goodbye ?)

You have a valid point here. That all being said it was partly meant in humour. It has also turned out to be vaguely interesting. Which is more than can be said about threads discussing POP for the billionth time. It's certainly kept you engaged as you seem hell bent on continuing your character assassination

5/not go

Again a valid point. However, have you never changed your mind about something?

6/get people to actually beg for you not to go

See my response to point 4). Even so, we all like a bit of attention don't we?

Black board manipulation.

As evidenced above, you're going to have to try a bit harder than that.

Of course you won’t admit to being a bully because the core problem of bullies is that they will never question themselves. They will accuse others, distort reality and facts to get their way. Theirs is just a game of power. Find someone that they feel they can make their pet. Hence coming back on a forum, not as much for the sake of conversation as it is to seek for power.

You have obviously read too much - or not enough - Nietzsche. This is a U2 forum, not the Oxford University Philosophy message board.

Look at the Michael Brook conversation. Rather than actually promoting MB and giving examples to illustrate your opinion, you were calling us uneducated or deaf. Multiple times. You just used power, in whatever way you were able to. My bad is that I can’t let it pass.

I have already responded to that. Which, ironically, you chose to ignore.

I’m perfectly fine being called a bully by a bully. It’s expected.

Coming right back atcha.

Hope you stick around BWW